My Life
I was looking for inspiration for this blog and as always I do my research. I ask my questions which normally consist of what’s trending in the ‘google world’? What can I share about hypnotherapy and NLP and their many benefits? Does what I write help people to consider hypnotherapy and NLP as a tool to help them move forward, even if just a little?
Then ‘lightbulb moment’ with recycling in mind I thought well, why not just edit what I wrote last year. In a sense it is a way of reflecting back, I can edit and change what is no longer relevant. Isn’t that what we do in our lives, make little ‘edits’ along the way, if what we do and say no longer works for us?
From my own experience, I know that making those little edits along the way, changing our behaviour, the way we communicate, the thoughts we have about ourselves and the world around us is easier said than done. The conscious mind may be willing, but the subconscious is what has a true hold on us and drives us. That is until we become more consciously aware, that is the beauty of hypnotherapy and NLP. NLP works at a conscious level and Hypnotherapy at the deep subconscious level.
Rare Gems
Frued likens the mind to an iceberg 10% Conscious (surface level it’s readily accessible) 90% subconscious (below the surface it’s less accessible.)
I like to think of conscious thought as semi-precious and subconscious as precious, as the subconscious holds rare gems, those insights which manifest change.
When you spend more time searching deep within and utilising the power of your sub-conscious you can achieve greater happiness and true contentment. That is the beauty of hypnotherapy it enables us to communicate with the subconscious and change outdated patterns of thinking and behaving which no longer serve us.
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My Life Recycling – is what was relevant last year still relevant today?
For many of us at this time of year, between Christmas and New Year we have time on our hands to sit and reflect on the year that is ending. Most often we are trying to make sense of our world to learn and grow from our experiences, so why then would we get trapped spending time ‘fighting the old’? No one intentionally wants to hold onto painful memories. However so often we become lost in our thoughts, holding onto ‘old wounds,’ some of which we are not even consciously aware. That’s becausemost of the ‘old stuff’ which forms our self-beliefs and drives our behaviour is stored deep within our subconscious.
Where we use self-reflection as a positive tool for change, to plan the year ahead and reflect with love, compassion, and objectivity we can make changes that enable us to grow,develop and improve our lives. On the flip side, if we have fallen into the trap of using self-reflection to criticise and berate ourselves, with a tendency to focus on the negative we are less likely to make positive changes moving forward.
My Life – The secret of change
A wise man once said,
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” (Socrates).
What an amazing quote, funny how when we focus on what we need it just materialises in front of our very eyes – or does it. So back to Socrates, even today we are still learning and growing from his wisdom and what was true then, centuries ago is as true for us today, but his quote left me pondering and raised further questions. Once you understand ‘the secret of change’ why then can it be so difficult to let go of the past? and why is it so many of us fail to manifest the changes we desire and maintain our new year’s resolutions? Is it because of the mental stories that we are telling?
My Life – My Adult Gap Year 2022
When you sit and reflect on last year how does your ‘story’ read?
How we understand and interpret our experiences is important, we spend so much of our time in thought and our thoughts become our stories however, so often we are less consciously aware of our interpretation and the impact of our ‘storyline.’
I recently returned from having spent over a year living and working in Turkey, my intention had been for it to be a permanent move, however life threw different obstacles in my path, and I came to realise that it just was not the place I was meant to be. Even the language we use can completely change ‘the story’ and impact on the next chapter of our lives, so I labelled my time away as my ‘adult gap year’.
I made some great friends, had some wonderful experiences, my love for food was satiated by picking fresh apricots, figs, walnuts, lemons and limes from the trees. Spending hours foraging for the forest floor for wild mushrooms and when in competition with wild boar, which can be a lengthy painstaking challenge. Harvesting fresh vegetables, aubergines, three different types of cucumber, a variety of tomatoes from our garden.
Other than food? I got to fly in a hot-air balloon and screamed my way through tandem paragliding from one of the best places in the world ‘Babadag’, Oludeniz… I swam in the warmest of seas, visited ancient monuments, walked the Lycian Way, sort of learnt a new language and found a love for yoga having been trained by the best yoga teacher Egle.
That is my perception of last year, however it had some low moments too, isolation, loneliness, conflicting thoughts on the loss of a long-held dream. Am I wiser for it, I would like to think so. That is my story, and I will take all the positives and learn from the less than positive moments. no regrets, just love and learning.
It is our perception of life events that has the greater impact. Imagine if I felt less positive about last year, if I were to look on it from a different perspective, focusing on loss and regret, imagine how taking that perception, projecting all the negatives into the future would potentially impact on my next story. “Sometimes all it takes is a change of perspective to see the light.”
That is my perception of last year, however it had some low moments too, isolation, loneliness, conflicting thoughts on the loss of a long-held dream. Am I wiser for it, I would like to think so. That is my story, and I will take all the positives and learn from the less than positive moments. no regrets, just love and learning.
It is our perception of life events that has the greater impact. Imagine if I felt less positive about last year, if I were to look on it from a different perspective, focusing on loss and regret, imagine how taking that perception, projecting all the negatives into the future would potentially impact on my next story. “Sometimes all it takes is a change of perspective to see the light.”
My Life – The subconscious stories that run our lives
We are all individual just as two children retell a scene from a fight in the playground, an individual’s perception of the event varies from child to child, person to person. Interestingly, we are more consciously aware of the stories we relate at the end of our day when we sit together at the dinner table than the stories that run our lives.
Most children listen to fairy stories … the story of Santa Claus … How old were you when you stopped believing that story? Unfortunately, as children too often we continue to believe the stories told or those we have overheard well into adulthood, especially if as children we are repeatedly told the same story. If we listen often enough to a critical parent who tell us, we are useless or stupid, we can continue to believe the story for a lifetime. As little people we try to make sense of our world, through the innocence of childhood we absorb information, just like a sponge. Take a moment to sit and pause and ask yourself what information did you receive growing up?
As we move into adolescence new stories begin, arising from relationships and new experiences, this becomes our narrative identity. Our “narrative identity” is an internalised and evolving story of how we have become the person or are becoming (McAdams and McLean 2013). Narrative identities reconstruct the autobiographical past and anticipate the imagined future to provide the self with understanding and a sense of purpose.
“In adolescence and young adulthood, we invent stories to make sense of our own lives. And then these stories change us. …it is through our story telling we ‘construct self-defining life narratives’ “ These internalised stories are those we create about ourselves, our own personal myths, like all stories it contains villains, heroes, chapters containing main events which either lead to empower or disempower us.
My Life – You have the power to rewrite your story
We all have the power to interpret our stories differently, looking at your story from a different perspective, with greater objectivity, compassion and self-love, taking a different perspective and with a different mindset you can edit and revise your story, not deny it, but change your perspective, reframe it, rewrite it in a more positive way. Research has shown in a study published in 2012 that
“Even making small story edits can have a big impact on our lives.”
By editing and reinterpreting your story, you can come to realise that you are in control of your life when you glean new insights from your life’s experiences, you will recognise your resilience in the face of challenging circumstance and that you did the best you could at the time with the emotional resources available to you.
Your My Life Challenge for 2023 is with new awareness and acceptance of what has gone before write a different story
“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” Nathaniel Branden remember any journey begins with one step, even “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Lao Tzu… take the first step to empower yourself to make positive changes for the year ahead and well into the future.
My Life – How can Hypnotherapy and NLP help me edit and rewrite my story?
NLP and Hypnotherapy are the greatest tools for enabling you to work on your story line; empowering you to tap into your “narrative identity” stored in the depths of your subconscious; further exploring your map and model of the world. When we identify your dominant storyline bringing this into conscious awareness new insights materialise. Enabling you to accept what went before, you edit and rewrite your story leading to you live a more fulfilling empowered life. As one of my all-time great’s said,
“if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” (Wayne Dyer)
Happy New Year may you live with a heart full of joy!